Whether you’re dating, engaged or married, studying the Bible as a couple can be incredibly rewarding. Many couples want to learn about God’s Word together, but they’re often not sure how to get started. After all, if you’ve been reading the Bible on your own for years, you’ll need to adapt your routine to accommodate your partner. If neither of you have been reading the Bible lately, but you want to get started together, you’ll need a plan you can both agree on.
We’ve got a few simple guidelines that can help you both design an effective couples’ devotional plan. Read on to discover some do’s and don’ts that many couples have found helpful!
Communicate and Compromise
Studying the Bible together successfully requires some give and take. For example, maybe your husband wants to read the whole Bible together in a year, but that doesn’t feel like a realistic goal to you. Maybe your wife wants to do a topical study, but you’d rather read the Bible chronologically. Agreeing on clear goals and expectations at the outset is very important. It can be helpful to start with a small commitment and work up to a more challenging one. Maybe one partner is concerned that reading several chapters a day is too much. It might be best to start by reading one chapter a day together, until this becomes a consistent routine. Then, you can reconsider whether adding more would be appropriate.
Follow a Plan
You don’t have to come up with a plan from scratch. Using a devotional or reading plan designed for couples can help you get off to a smooth start. For instance, YouVersion’s website offers reading plans and devotionals for every relationship stage. Investing in a couples’ devotional Bible can also be a helpful tool.
If you know another couple who’s been studying the Bible together for awhile, ask them what works for them. Chances are, they tried multiple plans that didn’t work out before they found one they were able to stick with. It’s also a good idea to discuss your plans with them, so they can provide support and accountability.
Another easy way to get started is to use weekly sermons or church Bible studies as springboards for your couples’ devotions. You can use the text from the sermon on Sunday to inspire a topical study with your partner throughout the following week. Or, if your pastor uses a single chapter as his text, you could study the previous and following chapters together later in the week.
Get Into a Routine
Habits are behaviors we perform without even needing to think about our decision. Wouldn’t it be great if studying the Bible together with your spouse could become an automatic habit? Researchers have found that before a successful habit can be established, you first need to get into a routine. A routine is a pattern of behavior that’s repeated, often and on purpose. The more often you can make your couples’ devotional time happen, the more natural and habitual it will become.
How do you fit time for Bible study into two peoples’ busy schedules? Committing to sit down at the same time every day can help provide structure. Setting phone alarms can help remind both of you that it’s time to start. Ideally, choose a time that’s distraction-free. After the kids are in bed, the dishes are cleared away, and work or homework is finished for the day, it will be much easier to focus on Bible study.
Let’s be honest: it can be hard for many of us to find more than a few moments of uninterrupted peace. However, you can find creative ways to make this work. If you only have time to sit down and read a brief passage, but no time to discuss it afterwards, that’s ok. Make a commitment to text or video message each other sometime during the next day, sharing a thought or reflection on the passage you read together.
Don’t Eliminate Personal Devotions
Studying the Bible together as a couple is important, but it shouldn’t replace each partner’s private relationship with God. If you’re married, your spouse probably knows your heart and mind better than any other person. However, keep in mind that God knows you much more intimately! Take time each day for prayer and reflection that’s just between you and God. Even if you’re sitting in bed with your spouse next to you, you can still commune with God one-on-one.
Expect Obstacles
As human beings, we often set out with the best of intentions, only to have our plans quickly derailed. It’s unlikely that you and your spouse will be perfectly consistent with your couples’ Bible study. A disagreement may get in the way, or a child may have a genuine emergency that throws off a whole night. You may have a night when both of you quietly decide not to say anything about Bible study and just keep watching TV together.
After these misses, it’s important to give yourselves, and each other, grace. Studying the Bible together as a couple is a long-term commitment. Dropping the ball here and there, whether it’s done intentionally or not, is not the end of the world. It won’t keep you from reaping the benefits of couples’ Bible study over time. However, if you simply give up on establishing a routine and don’t try again the next day to make it happen, you’ll lose all the momentum you’ve built. This can make it even harder to get started again in the future.
Join a Supportive Church
Bible study works better when you’re part of a church family. If you’re around other couples with shared goals every week, you’ll be more likely to stay motivated and keep digging in to God’s Word together. At Harmony Baptist Church in Galesburg, IL, we’d love to help as you seek to put God first in your relationship. To plan a visit or reach out with questions, visit our “Contact” page today!
